i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
