He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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