i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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