haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I need help removing her.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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