His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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