Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
