i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
