I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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