hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
