At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Drake has all the answers
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
