im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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