There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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