I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
