Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize