I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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