sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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