You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
