So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
