remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize