You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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