Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.