Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(805): View more from California

Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(641): View more from Iowa

you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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(529): View more from

Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ

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(847): View more from Illinois

I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.

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