I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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