Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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(979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk

Replies (35) Good night (989) Bad night (4338)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.

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(484): I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking. http://tfl.nu/qzjs

Replies (22) Good night (5328) Bad night (895)
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(352): View more from Florida

Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes

(1-352): View more from Florida

I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.

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(352): Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes (1-352): I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos. http://tfl.nu/ch4a

Replies (13) Good night (7734) Bad night (952)
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(616): View more from Michigan

whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

(231): View more from Michigan

i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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(616): whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook. (231): i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment. http://tfl.nu/fvdt

Replies (41) Good night (1979) Bad night (5413)
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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c

Replies (10) Good night (3866) Bad night (923)
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(937): View more from Ohio

She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.

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(937): She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life. http://tfl.nu/md1r

Replies (10) Good night (1601) Bad night (5176)
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(813): View more from Florida

He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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(813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan

Replies (10) Good night (950) Bad night (3272)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.

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(402): I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes. http://tfl.nu/zfk3

Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (1249)
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(772): View more from Florida

You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

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(772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list. http://tfl.nu/hcyy

Replies (9) Good night (2923) Bad night (1440)
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(310): View more from California

I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one

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(310): I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one http://tfl.nu/kvjq

Replies (12) Good night (842) Bad night (1796)
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(585): View more from New York

Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude our life is a booze cruise

(585): View more from New York

But without boats...

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(585): Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise (770): Dude our life is a booze cruise (585): But without boats... http://tfl.nu/7gcu

Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (358)
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(760): View more from California

We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

(760): View more from California

THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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(760): We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix (760): THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE http://tfl.nu/hk7r

Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (366)
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(813): View more from Florida

I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.

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(813): I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs. http://tfl.nu/cwm9

Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (316)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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(479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph

Replies (2) Good night (291) Bad night (538)
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(713): View more from Texas

He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

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(713): He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us. http://tfl.nu/qccw

Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (187)

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