I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
