I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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