You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
