I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize