you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize