just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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