ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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