You just made me feel so damn special
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You are a genius and a whore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
