Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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