I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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