well I can't set my house on fire every night
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
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