just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
