dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
