told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
