we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
