are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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