I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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