erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
