There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize