How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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