I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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