Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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