Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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