he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
