NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
