In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize