69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
