Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
