none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
