Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
