I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
tell me about the fingering
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