in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I could fuck to npr.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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