You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
