she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
